Merry Christmas. Like a broken clock, I slept late and woke early and have been eating all the candies in my house without discrimination. So much for my schedules and numbers and so-called pedantry. When I haven't a schedule, I become bored and when I'm bored, I want to chew on tasty things.
My mom said,「今日まで」. It's the day before fuyu yasumi, and I wrote the most of this in school. Only now am I sat down and copying it down. I don't have anything to do on Christmas day, my mother and sister returned from the dentist with fried chicken and cakes. That was the extent of it. Then I ate too many tempura rice crackers because I set it as a goal to do. What did I do the last year? Two years ago/ I lay in bed last night thinking, "Oh, it's really Christmas eve. That's special to people." Supposedly Santa was in the air with his magic immortal reindeer. It's my last fuyu yasumi in this school. I don't know why I put it like that. I'm so sentimental. When I watched the analog clock "ticking away" (is it how you refer to that?) until it reached zero; beginning again a new day, I had lay there and realized there was no one to relate this to.
At times, I have something I wish to say, formed so prettily in my head, and I realized that the friend I wish to relate it all to does not exist.
Sometimes I look at my face and think really that the time has passed. I've grown perhaps an inch from when I was twelve or so, but the clothing of then is even larger on me because I'm a little thinner. But it's in my face I see I've thinned and I have aged. I look like my father at a similar age but when I don my mother's large coat that extends to my knees like a dress, I think too, when I put on the hood and take off my glasses I look like her. I'll be fifteen soon. I'll be sixteen after that. I'll one day be twenty. If I'm not now jinxing myself, I thought, I'll one day be thirty. And time will always be like this.
And that I wanted a nice little parfait. I wish to relate it all to a friend that didn't exist.
The day before the last of the semester is a great osouji, and there was a girl singing. I feel at times how I speak to be too plain so I said instead of the usual "nice singing" or perhaps even the bolder "your singing is beautiful", I said, "Do you want to go to karaoke together? I wish to hear you sing more." I'm not sure why I said it like that. She stopped her sweeping and responded, "Uhn... no." And a seperate boy coughed into his palm. Sitting here, I realize how it must have been I came across only now.
My mother said either on the 24th or 25th they serve a Christmas cake. She was insistent on it. Well, they don't. A teacher of mine (same one mentioned in the first entry!) messaged me a gift code for some sort of corn snack from 7/11.